You’ve got it all wrong

It’s a new year. It’s a time for review. Renewal. And for me, an honest self evaluation of where I’ve taken my life.

Rather than some grandiose plan or vision for how 2018 is going to be the year that I maximize all these things and become super human, I thought I’d start with some real honest talk.

Yesterday I read, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counter-Intuitive Approach to Living a Good Life . In fact, re-read is more accurate. I realized it contained some much needed truth and honesty.

Mark Manson provides some really thought-provoking questions that I finally took stock and evaluated. I realized I’ve gotten it all wrong. My values have been misaligned. My behaviors are not effective to getting me to where I know intuitively I want to be.

Truth be told, it’s not as scary as one might think to actually admit those things. It’s actually harder to avoid them. I know because I’ve spent a lot of time in the last year avoiding the honest assessment of my own goals and behaviors.

So what does it look like to get it all wrong? Well, to start, it’s in admitting that my values have been screwy. When I look at my behaviors and where life is at right now, I’ve valued seeking comfort and pleasure over uncomfortable conversations with myself and others. I’ve valued procrastination to avoid what I fear are going to be difficult conversations. I’ve valued financial security and pursuit of economic gain over a job that is fulfilling and makes my mark on the world. And because I’ve valued those things, I’ve gotten exactly what valuing those things yield. Yet there’s things missing.

So this year, I’ve decided to take to heart the lessons in Discipline Equals Freedom: Field Manual. I’ve decided that my attitude needs adjusting. It’s time to decide to commit to discipline. And it’s time to decide on how to best change my values to those focused on humility, vulnerability, creative expression, and honesty.

This blog this year will focus on some of the things I’m learning along the warpath. It starts with evaluating where I am and focusing on leaning into the work that gets me stronger, more knowledge, and getting it less wrong every day.

Starting a new Journey

I’m refreshing this site as I lost my old one. And yet, it’s a new beginning with a new outlook. Today I signed a new contract with myself to work on my happiness. This is my journal.

The new contract:

I, Lindi , being totally committed to my growth and happiness, do hereby make a loving agreement with myself to devote time and energy to letting go of all the reasons I may have for being overweight and to supporting my body in reaching its ideal, natural weight and shape. Through using the technology provided for me in this Radical Weight Loss program, I will do whatever it takes to support myself in releasing excess weight by committing to devote myself for a period of no less that six months, to the following:
  • Doing the investigative preparatory work as set out in this program in a serious and honest manner.
  • Making a habit of regularly using the Radical Weight Loss tools so that I gradually shed bot h pounds and inches until I reach my natural ideal weight and shape.
  • Making a forgiveness list, and by using the Radical Forgiveness tools, including the Radical Forgiveness Worksheet, forgiving everyone that I believe is, or was, implicated in any way in my gaining and holding excess weight.
  • Working on forgiving myself, clearing my shadow and accepting myself unconditionally, using the Radical Forgiveness technology.
  • Keeping a daily “Journal,” noting any changes, challenges, intentions and successes.
I affirm that I love myself enough to do this and I am willing to let love for myself and others expand in my heart so that, by the end of the six month period, I am living in the joy vibration, empowered to be my true self.
At the same time, I release any attachment to my having lost any significant amount of weight by the end of the six month program, even though I will have been committed to — and benefited from — doing the work, and promise myself that I will not allow myself to judge or think of myself as a failure, knowing that my soul has decided I am perfect just the way I am.